ex·​clu·​dee

I was just at a party where two people in their twenties (albeit early twenties) were wearing bucket hats, and it struck me - are trends age-universal? Part of me thinks, "good for them, they're really making it happen, following these trends, living a youthful life, wearing what makes them feel cute." And part of me thinks, "people above 16 are allowed to wear those?" The questions are begged: Am I allowed to buy Converse Lugged? Can I wear a knit vest unironically? At what age do I stop going out for Halloween or taking photos of the sparklers that come with birthday shots? Of course I knew it would happen - growing up means all those sentiments and cliches that older people have said all my life become more and more relatable. It makes me feel a bit older, which instills both enjoyable and unenjoyable emotions. Like a mutual breakup - it's great to be on the same page - no one is pulling the rug out or blindsiding anyone - but breakups are a bitch. So that part is super unenjoyable. In this aging bit, the enjoyable part is that feeling your age can be a catalyst to recognizing your maturity. It's a moment to check in on your developmental progress and the give a little handshake to the beautiful things (relationships, character traits, hobbies, plants) you've grown or held over the years. The unenjoyable bit is that feeling of exclusion. It's not a FOMO exactly; it's not a "not cool enough," hierarchical worry. It's more objective, more factual than that - more of an "Is that even legal?" than a "You can't sit with us." The emotions that drip from it like a baby's boogery nose are less of a thick, green jealousy and more of a clear, liquid understanding (healthy baby, baby!). It's like when your free trial or student membership ends - it's no one's fault, and we all saw it coming, but like…not interested in paying for Adobe Photoshop at retail prices. Literally could not. I drift. I have no wisdom to proffer. Just thinking. Live in your chapter, I guess.