masks

I’d like to think that I’ll go on a date and this will happen: my date will be wearing a mask because he’s very responsible, and I will wear a mask but will remove it very quickly once we sit down because I’m quite eager to show people who I am. And after we have a drink and a salad, he’ll take off his mask and I’ll see someone perhaps a bit meek and insecure but quite interested in his interests and very kind throughout. We’ll laugh a rosy laugh and say “guess we don’t need these anymore” as we toss our masks over our shoulders like good luck salt.

But what seems to actually happen is that I quickly remove my mask after we sit down, raising my eyebrows expectantly as the server brings us our splashy wine and crab Rangoon. After we’ve finished our crab Rangoon and he still hasn’t taken off his mask, I say, “so what are you like under that mask?” And he replies, “well I’m probably not what you’re fantasizing” and I sigh-laugh politely, because I’m convinced that I have great instincts about these things. But secretly I worry that the longer he waits to take it off, the more detailed my fantasy of him becomes - “I bet he has really kind, sleepy eyes and just one dimple.” And when he agrees to take off his mask, I stare for a moment and then put my head in my hands, because it’s just a tragedy what’s under there. And the camera zooms out and we become a silhouette, me leaning over and crying into my hands and him sitting up straight and heartbroken.